Fine
by aptasi
Summary: Six years after the main series, Ivy asks Carmen for a favor.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Six years after the main series, Ivy asks Carmen for a favor.

Disclaimer: I'm just a fanfiction author. All hail the rightful owners.

* * *

Alone, in the dark of her apartment, a woman on the forward edge of adulthood finished a bowl of pasta and sat in an empty room. Ordinarily, she would have put on a movie after a long day, but tonight Ivy wasn't interested. She wasn't keen on entertainment when she was about to do something reckless. In fact, rash decisions weren't her thing in the first place. Not when she was calm anyhow.

No matter how long Ivy stared at the cheap hollow pine of her desk, it wasn't going to give her the information she needed. So she stood up and walked over to the small machine, on the kitchen counter with the dish drainer and peanut butter. She flipped a switch and had the bizarre sensation that she usually associated with chronoskimmer travel.

"Ham radio…" She muttered dryly. "This is so Zack's shtick." But her brother was in college for computer science now, and this was not the time.

There was a sudden metallic hum. Ivy took a deep breath and turned the dial a little more, searching for the right setting. Into the silence, she recited. "Nathan Hale, White Hat Hacker, Rahab."

For a long time, the former detective only heard static. After too long, she shook her head and walked away, getting ready to brush her teeth. Whatever she was hoping for, it wouldn't happen. This possibility had died a long time ago, with her blessing. There was no point calling in a half-decade stale favor.

Suddenly, the static crested and the past spoke. "Who's there?"

Her mouth filled with drying air. "Ivy."

"How are you?"

Ivy's mouth felt a little dry. She swallowed. "Smalltalk?"

"It's been six years with no word." The elegant voice noted. "I thought I might start generally."

"I'm fine." Four letters seemed inadequate to describe it, but nothing else was accurate.

The communication stalled while Ivy waited for Carmen to say that this was good, or that she was glad, but instead a flat tone inquired. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."

"You used the code." The voice seemed a little hoarse, but that was probably just the static. "What do you need, detective?"

There was something strange in saying, "I'm not a detective."

"Ivy."

Sullenly trying to put off answering, she added. "And I hate that code." It felt petty this long after it mattered, but she did.

Carmen blandly acknowledged. "As intended. Now what do you need."

Her lungs slowly filled. "I need you to make me disappear."

The ensuing pause lasted long enough that Ivy actually touched a few dials to try and see if she had lost the connection. Finally, she heard something. "Clarify."

"Missing presumed dead, staged crime scene, the whole nine yards." Ivy expounded.

The static interjected loudly, as Carmen replied, "I think this may be best in person. Is there somewhere you would like to meet?"

"Um well…" Ivy said. "I don't really get out into the city a lot."

"I take it you're not in San Francisco anymore."

Ivy sighed. "Or Kansas." She countered, and felt cold and vindicated when she heard the cheap chuckle. "I'm in New Orleans at the moment."

Nonchalantly, Carmen declared. "I would have guessed D.C."

Ivy bit her lip and said tersely. "I travel a lot."

Carmen's voice switched into annoying laughter. "Oh really?"

"Part of the job." This was a bad idea.

"Well then." Carmen always had known how to back off a subject the instant just before Ivy got genuinely angry. "I know just the place."

* * *

This was quite possibly the most awkward meeting Ivy had ever endured. Furthermore, it was unfair of Carmen to wear sunglasses. When it came to reading the other woman's mind, only one of them getting to see the other's eyes was just a ridiculous advantage, thank you very much. Sure, the sunlight was blinding but that wasn't the point.

However, Ivy had to admit to herself that if Carmen hadn't covered at least part of her face, she probably wouldn't have recognized her. The little hint of a disguise was what made it feel right when the dark-haired stranger walked up to her.

"Hi." Ivy said noncommittally.

"Detective."

The entire conversation was immeasurably delicate. "I'm not a detective." And repetitive. The whole thing was silly. Ivy had never had to give Carmen information more than once before, and she didn't think the thief was capable of forgetting something so simple.

"My apologies." Carmen answered, and Ivy could tell that she was being carefully leading. "What are you?"

That question was too precise. "I work for a different agency." Ivy said between her teeth.

Smugly, her erstwhile adversary declared. "I know."

"It's national, one of the ones with acronyms."

"So specific?"

Ivy said a little too quickly. "And also none of your business."

Immediately and coldly, Carmen answered. "Well don't give me any information that will incite you to murder. However, I will require some additional instructions for this… favor of yours."

"It's not too complicated. I need to lay low for a while, and…" This was actually really complicated. "I got to thinking about how… way back when… you said if I ever needed a job…"

Carmen exhaled through her teeth. "It was not an offer intended to be taken."

"Yeah…" There was no right thing she could say. "But I kind of need to take you up on it. Just for a few weeks."

That glare could etch silicon. "Why?"

Ivy sighed. "Nothing so melodramatic. There's not much I can tell you, but the gist is I just need to do the whole dead and then resurrected trope. You know, Huck Finn attends his own funeral type stuff." Usually far more articulate than this, the young woman stumbled over her words.

Carmen readjusted her sunglasses.

"Like what you did with that whole mountain plane crash thing."

Ivy instantly regretted adding the clarification. Her erstwhile adversary looked far from pleased at the reminiscence, studying her as if she were trying to chronicle every minute change that had taken place since that time.

"Look I really can't tell you… but you've got to know I wouldn't ask this if I thought I had another way to do it."

"That's true…" Carmen said, under her breath with the slightest hint of acidity. Otherwise, the thief said nothing, turning her chin slightly to the side and observing one of the nearby buildings, with intense disinterest, for several minutes.

"Well…" Ivy wanted to throw her arms in the air and give up. "That's all I have." This time, she told herself, she would not respond unless her adversary did. She wasn't going to beg, so she just crossed her arms.

"So Ivy," Carmen finally said dryly, taking of her sunglasses and putting them in her coat pocket. "How do you want to die?"


	2. Chapter 2

Summary: Six years after the main series, Ivy asks Carmen for a favor.

Disclaimer: I'm just a fanfiction author. All hail the rightful owners.

Content Disclaimer: Very mild cussing and some (offscreen) blood.

* * *

"That's… a little bit of a loaded question don't you think?"

Carmen's left eyebrow made a slight quirking motion. "I can see you haven't been doing fieldwork." She remarked critically. "Such lost potential."

Ivy ground her teeth slightly. "I like my work."

"Clearly." Carmen said blandly.

"Are you going to help me," Ivy clenched her fists, "Or not?"

Cheerfully smiling, Carmen specified. "When you answer my original question."

"It needs to look like a professional hit."

In a single fluid movement, Carmen glanced over the area, placed her hand on Ivy's shoulder, and unceremoniously shoved her into an alley. The redhead fell flat on her knees, and several year old training took effect. She shielded her face, not as well as she would have a few years ago but passably, hugged the wall to cut off easy projectile range from outside, and recovered her balance into a fighting stance. Only then did she notice that Carmen was standing in the center of the ally, hands on hips, completely relaxed.

"What?" The young woman demanded irately.

"Oh, nothing." Carmen said airily.

Grudgingly, Ivy stood up and brushed the smudges from her pants. "Damn it Carmen, you scared me."

"Yes." Carmen seemed reflective, "But whatever you thought I saw," She gestured vaguely at Ivy's eyes, "Scared you more." She looked down. "And you _are_ frightened…"

"Of course I am…" Ivy hissed. "I am up against…" Her brain worked frenetically for a phrase, "against something that terrifies me. You know I wouldn't be here if I could trust anyone."

Carmen smirked. "I'm very trustworthy."

"Yeah." Sighing the redhead remarked. "It doesn't reflect well on my luck, but yeah."

The thief leaned elegantly against the wall, at an angle, Ivy noticed, to give her good visibility. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Ivy didn't like the gentle tone of that question. "Yeah. I'm sure."

Suddenly, Carmen switched from cold and snide, to a mood that reminded Ivy of a six year old at Christmas. "How professional should the imaginary hitman appear?" She took of the glasses and her eyes were glistening.

Ivy responded confidently. "More competent than Sara, less competent than you..."

"That's a broad range."

"Closer to your side, but with Sara's mean streak."

With suddenly too much energy to hold still, the thief started rolling on her heels. "Efficient death or gruesome?" She asked, word accelerating as spoken.

Heart rate was getting a bit out of control. "Efficient." Ivy flushed. "Please."

"Can you give blood without passing out?"

This was turning out a bit more nerve-racking than she had hoped. She didn't think Carmen was doing it deliberately, but Ivy felt like she was reverting to her teenage self. Her mind kept jumping to the fact that Carmen was talking to her like an equal, which she really shouldn't be so astonished about… unless of course there was some doubt. "Well they don't like the traveling I've done enough to let me, but give me some credit."

"Of course, but it's worth asking."

Strange, that sounded like a compliment. "Thank you?"

"Can you live with your brother and parents believing the ruse?" If Carmen had been treating Ivy as a colleague before, this question left no doubt. The thief's gaze was direct, searching, and startlingly open. Ivy knew this one was her call, and it scared her to death.

Ivy felt uncomfortably detached as she answered. 'Yes. Well my brother's the difficult one, my parents aren't exactly…"

Carmen looked like she understood far too much of that.

Ivy decided to elaborate less. "Yes I can live with it."

The master thief turned her head into a version of profile that vaguely evoked Hollywood glamor. "Does a chance that you were violently kidnapped ruin your fiction? Even with my technology, it's difficult to look definitive without a body. People watch too many movies. "

"Um no... I mean that's fine."

Carmen's left hand was starting to make a snapping gesture, apparently of its own accord. "We'll need a setting. Do you jog or exercise along predictable routes?"

"Err... actually I'm a little out of shape." This was more embarrassing than the morbid questions.

"Do you visit any restaurants or stores in regular patterns?"

"I actually order in..."

Carmen smirked. "How attached are you to your security deposit?"

* * *

Ivy picked at the bandage on her forearm. "What are you doing, Carmen?" She whispered under her breath. She had honestly expected the blood draw to be the worst, as the master thief, though very technically competent, did not have the bedside manner of a good nurse. However that had just turned out to be awkward and a decent confirmation that Ivy was not at all used to having people in her personal space. Especially very complicated ones from the semidistant past. Now, waiting in the hallway while the master thief did who knows what in the kitchen, that was really unpleasant. There was something about the idea of Carmen rummaging through her cupboards that just got to her.

"Nothing you want to see." Carmen remarked in an equally low tone, stepping precisely from the carpet of the intermediate living area to the more forgiving wooden hallway.

"Took you long enough." Ivy muttered vaguely.

Inexplicably, Carmen took the grumpy statement as some sort of insult and got defensive. "You try making lethal looking splatters with only a pint of blood." She said harshly.

Feeling abruptly dizzy, Ivy tried to focus on the floor. "You done?"

Carmen blinked and then looked at the other woman more closely. Then she calmly took off her gloves, bagged them, and put a clean hand on Ivy's shoulder. "Breathe."

"You're being… condescending…" Ivy said indistinctly, not quite able to complete the thought.

The thief retreated a few steps. "You're just pale. I was…"

"Can we please just get out of here?" For some reason Ivy was fixating on unimportant details. For example, it was kind of weird to see Carmen with her hair up. Well it was obviously necessary to avoid contaminating the crime scene and all that but it just wasn't computing.

Carmen nodded. "Of course, Ivy."

Glancing around, the former detective threw in one last question. "You did take care of the security cameras didn't you?"

The master thief smirked. "Yes." She said. "They were quaint."

"I thought they were decent." Ivy said doubtfully.

Carmen shrugged. "For 1985."

"I'd better have a talk with my landlord about that." Her thoughts were starting to drift around in a completely humiliating way. Though knowing that she was making a fool of herself, Ivy couldn't quite seem to get to a competent place. "Err... anyway I mean let's go."

–

"You can sit up now." Carmen remarked.

"Can I get in the front seat?" Ivy requested. At some point, while Ivy was dozing, Carmen had taken down her hair, and from this vantage point it was all Ivy could see.

Chuckling, Carmen countered. "Don't push your luck."

Scooting a little to the side, Ivy pushed herself up so she was no longer spread out over the floor of the car and got onto the seat. "I was beginning to feel weird without a seat belt" She clipped it closed.

The former detective could see Carmen rolling her eyes in the rear view mirror. "Well you're on wonderful terrain for that."

Ivy looked around, rubbing her face. The surrounding land was empty and flat. Pancakes and bowling alleys, like chief used to say. Wherever Carmen had driven them in the past hours, it didn't have a lot of scenery. "Well you're wearing yours." She tapped her fingers on the door handle absentmindedly and casually added. "You know that was how I finally figured out you didn't have a death wish? That you used seat belts?"

Carmen frowned. "Well..." She decided grudgingly. "You weren't wrong. But I'm more concerned about you just now, Ivy."

"I'm fine." She muttered sullenly.

"At the apartment you nearly passed out."

Ivy swallowed. "Well I made the mistake of picturing how Zack was going to react when he saw all that blood."

There was a long pause and then Carmen said rapidly. "You know that is very unlike you. Putting your friends and family through that sort of thing is the absolute last" She paused, "thing I would expect from you."

"They...I didn't really think this through." Ivy was grateful that she was sitting behind Carmen because her face was bright red. This was so humiliating. Five years off and she instantly made a fool of herself. It really had been way too long since she'd done fieldwork and it galled her that Carmen knew that. However she had no good defense. The last thing she wanted to admit to her former sorta-enemy was that she'd just been following orders.

Slowing the car back down. Carmen asked delicately. "Do you want me to tip him off?"

"I told you it was fine." Ivy flatly said.

Carmen shrugged and tapped her fingers on the wheel. "And now you might change your mind. It happens."

Ivy swallowed.

"To the best of us." Carmen added significantly.

They paused.

With marked hesitation, Ivy hedged. "It would have to be really... I mean _really_ subtle."

This time she was pretty sure Carmen was only taking mock offense. "I am _ver_y good at this, you know."

"Fine." Ivy finally assented.


	3. Chapter 3

Summary: Six years after the main series, Ivy asks Carmen for a favor.

Disclaimer: I'm just a fanfiction author. All hail the rightful owners.

* * *

"Your brother knows." Carmen declared in an unusually mellow voice, stepping gingerly through the doorway.

Ivy looked up from surveying the clothing options in her temporary room, where she'd been waiting for a little over an hour while Carmen did whatever black magic espionage thing was needed to clue Zack in. "Thanks."

The master thief gestured at the wardrobe. "Are those adequate?"

"Yeah." Pretty dead on the money actually, considering that Ivy hadn't given Carmen any notice and they certainly didn't have opportunity to pack or shop. Then again, she was dealing with superhuman competence here. "You know I was a little worried you might try to put me in one of those henchman uniforms?"

"You're not a henchman."

"Ok, fair enough." Ivy hesitated. "So uh… I don't have to do anything?"

Carmen gave her a sharp look, but almost instantly toned it down. "No." She said. "Just relax. You can stay in this room for the duration, if you like." The slightest hesitation, "Of course, being alone for that length of time can be maddening, so I suggest you socialize occasionally."

"Um, alright." She wasn't really sure how to go about that. They'd gone by a few henchmen on the way in, and Ivy had been embarrassed to realize that she didn't recognize any of them.

"And of course, you'll need to come down to the dining room for dinner." For some reason this part felt incredibly awkward, even though Carmen's inflection was elegant as ever. "Or you could just get something from the kitchen. This base is on the small side, so the food arrangements aren't too formal, but we usually take turns cooking and eat together." It was a very interesting base too, with an ambiance that sort of reminded Ivy of a robot summer camp. The majority of the underground hideout was divided between small rooms, with individual small beds, but the materials had an assertive techie bent. Somehow Ivy hadn't pictured everything being so... mechanical cozy.

"Aren't you worried that the henchmen will see me and report back to…" Ivy wasn't sure, even to herself how much of an excuse that was.

Carmen's expression was not quite pleasant and gave Ivy the uncomfortable feeling that the master thief had figured out something she hadn't. "I have that under control, and I don't want to test the psychological effects of solitary confinement, at least not on anyone I find interesting company."

"Thank you." Ivy inexpertly experimented with mirroring Carmen's smirk. "That's a high compliment."

"Let me know if there's anything else you need."

"Um…" Ivy thought for a sec then joked. "Could you get me cable?" Ok maybe that wasn't a total joke.

"Well I could." Carmen laughed. "But it wouldn't be in English."

Ivy frowned. "I thought we drove here."

"Did we?"

Ivy almost got very nervous, but decided it wasn't worth figuring this one out. She shook her head. "Never change, Carmen."

The master thief did a somewhat showy but simultaneously awkward shoulder movement.

"So then how about a simple task or two?" Ivy suggested after a while. "To keep me from going nuts?"

"The group is having hot pot for dinner." Carmen commented, lounging against the door frame and apparently trying to be friendly. "And I could use some help preparing the vegetables once Sara gets back from the store."

"Sara's here!" Ivy exclaimed. "Sara Bellum?"

Nodding, Carmen mischievously answered. "She has a mission in this country. Where else would she be?"

"Somewhere with behind shatterproof glass?" Ivy suggested.

With a slight sigh, Carmen corrected. "You don't need to feel unsafe around Sara anymore. She's much more..."

"Sane?" Ivy interjected incredulously.

Carmen smirked. "Settled." She rephrased.

With a stale exasperation, Ivy shook her head. "I can't believe you hired her back."

After looking her guest over for a few moments, Carmen decided not to answer.

"I mean she had us in a cage." Ivy recited her old rant on the topic. "That's nuts."

"What do you call a cell?" Carmen questioned mildly.

"It..." Ivy paused, realizing suddenly that she hadn't checked her opinion on Sara for logical consistency, at least not in the last five years or so.

"She also dressed up as me." Carmen seemed to be trying not to smile. "Do you object to that as well?"

"I... OK look I get that those were bad examples, but I'm still right!"

Carmen laughed. "You'll have to be faster." She left down the hallway, calling over her shoulder. "Vegetables, downstairs, one hour."

–-

"You can start on the shallots." Carmen declared, pointing Ivy in the direction of a chopping board.

Not wanting to cook in silence, the younger woman decided to see if she could resurrect the Sara line of questioning. "Carmen, when you avoided my question earlier, was it because you didn't want to answer or because you were fooling around?"

The crook laughed. "You made an easy target. I couldn't resist. Sorry."

The return glance was several ticks past suspicious. "No you're not."

With a careless gesture in the direction of additional prep work, Carmen amended. "Ok, I'm not. But I needed to even the playing field a little because the actual reason is silly." She hesitated

"You're kidding. What is it?" Now, Ivy was getting genuinely curious.

"Libby."

"Huh?"

"Her dog." Carmen clarified.

"Sara has a dog?" Ivy muttered distractedly. "I wouldn't give a goldfish I liked to her."

Carmen poured some water into a large pot, displeased with the response. "Yes. And she's better cared for than most children." Her face softened a little. "Sara loves that animal."

"How does this have anything to do with you hiring her again?"

Carmen pushed some daikon in Ivy's general direction. "I was going to leave Sara in prison and let the lab techs care for Libby, but then after a few days when she realized Sara wasn't coming home she became..." Her voice trailed off.

"Unhappy?"

"Despondent. She went off her food and started howling constantly. And... I felt guilty." Carmen admitted.

Skeptically, Ivy began arranging the sliced daikon into neat piles. "Let me get this straight. I spent years trying to get you feel guilty about large scale theft and got nowhere, but in a few days this dog got you to feel guilty about something that wasn't even actually immoral?"

"Yes, that's how it is."

With a particularly angry thump of the knife, Ivy declared. "That is absurd."

Straight faced, Carmen countered. "My guilt doesn't have to be logical. It's mine."

Ivy sighed loudly.

"So we made a deal. Sara went to therapy and had to earn back the privilege of playing with lethal things, and she could go home and stay with Libby."

"That could have gone very wrong."

"It didn't. Sara has a good heart, you know. And you need to slice those thinner, or the water won't cook them."

"If you say so..."

"Sara also has a temper, which is certainly not unheard of." Carmen added pointedly.

The chopping got a little less neat.

"And once she learned that causing international chaos was not an appropriate way to express her emotions..."

Ivy's jaw twitched.

"Don't look at me like that." Carmen deadpanned.

"So what was she angry at you for in the first place?" Ivy asked grudgingly.

A gigantic pile of spices tipped into the pot. "I'm given to understand the way I set up her blackboards was a mortal insult."

Ivy groaned. "Come on Carmen, the real reason."

"That is the real reason."


	4. Chapter 4

Summary: Six years after the main series, Ivy asks Carmen for a favor.

Disclaimer: I'm just a fanfiction author. All hail the rightful owners.

* * *

Ivy paused for a moment, not sure if Carmen was making some sort of particularly deadpan joke and then laughed aloud. "Well that's good to know. I'll remember that if I ever need to… I don't know what would you do with Sara… invite her to give a seminar or something."

Carmen briefly laughed along, and then did a slight double take. "That's enough." She said suddenly.

The chuckle caught in Ivy's throat. "What?"

"Enough daikon." Carmen's face was suddenly guarded.

"Oh." Ivy stopped. "Ok then."

As her hands abruptly doubled in efficiency the master thief added. "And enough vegetables."

"Ok…" Ivy hesitated. "Do you need anything else..."

"No." Carmen cut off her question. "You can bring that plate to the dining room…"

"Alright…" Ivy glanced around trying to determine what had brought about the sudden change in Carmen's demeanor. Had she glanced at the clock?

"And remain there," Carmen's voice was not too blunt but neither was it warm. "I'll bring the other."

"Err… alright. I'll see you in a minute..." Ivy tried not glance over her shoulder, sure she'd see Carmen watching her leave with an inscrutable if not hostile gaze.

If Ivy had been hoping that the dining room would cheer her up, she wasn't about to get her wish. The place had the same sort of techno sterile vibe, but this time with cafeteria tables. She'd never really expected Carmen's aesthetic to be this. But she supposed an underground bunker wasn't going to be as… elegant as she had supposed.

The former detective walked through the communal dining room, reflecting that she really didn't know anyone at this dinner. Did Carmen only keep henchmen for a few years or something? Had she deliberately kept the ones Ivy was familiar away with her? She swallowed, set the vegetables down at a table full of henchmen and then backed kind of awkwardly off, since they didn't seem to have any spare seats.

This was ridiculous. Honestly she hadn't had this problem since middle school. Not even at her new job and they were famously unfriendly, especially to upstart new girls. Ivy had gotten through that without breaking a sweat. Figures now of all times she'd start feeling like an awkward kid.

Then, somewhere across the room, she saw Sara, sitting quietly at a table by herself. She couldn't believe she was actually glad to see the mad scientist. It really had been a very long time. "Sara..." she said. "Hi." Well that was a good greeting for six years of… of whatever this was.

Sara looked up from putting some napa cabbage into the broth on the burner. "Hello detective."

"I'm not a detective anymore." Ivy said. Not that again.

"Oh..." Sara sounded a little confused. "Sorry about that."

"Don't be..." This wasn't making that much sense in Ivy's head. "Just err… call me Ivy ok?" She had never figured on a future when she'd be making smalltalk with Sara, no matter how many years had passed. Really six years wasn't that much, was it?

Apparently it was. "I just want you to know." The scientist declared shyly. "That I'm very sorry about locking you up, stealing dangerous things, and causing those explosions."

Ivy tried to focus on dipping a piece of bok choy into the spicy liquid. "That's ok it was a long time ago."

"I'm still sorry." Sara said.

"So..." Ivy was starting to feel a little ashamed of herself and wasn't too keen on the feeling. "That's a really nice looking dog. Is she yours?"

Sara nodded. "Her name is Libby, after William Libby. She's a German Shepard Collie mix."

"Um... why is she at the table?"

Around that moment, Carmen arrived like a summer storm, punctuating her steps with clicks of her heels. She pulled herself up a chair, calmly reaching for some of the ingredients and beginning her meal without missing a beat.

Sara looked at her boss for a moment and then explained. "Because she makes the humans less scary."

Ivy frowned.

"Don't worry she won't eat anything. She just likes to sit by me." Sara somehow looked completely contrite and terrifying at the same time.

"Must make labwork... interesting..."

Sara laughed in a way that reminded Ivy about her mad scientist credentials. "You have no idea."

Ivy muttered to herself. "That can't be a good idea."

In response, Sara opened her mouth, looking decisively offended.

"So, how have you been, Ivy?" Carmen interjected abruptly, with a rather disturbing smile.

"Um... basically fine."

"Perhaps you could tell us about your hobbies."

Ivy tried to think of one.

"Since you can't talk about your job." Carmen added, with a saccharine wave of her hand that was probably just intended to get at the plate with the rolled meat on it.

"I actually can't think of any." And wasn't that just a little sad.

"How unfortunate. I don't suppose you've kept up your martial arts?"

"Um…" Ivy colored. "Not very well."

With a shake of her head, Carmen remarked. "That is a shame. You were very good."

Ivy felt something resembling self-defense reassert itself. "Would you stop saying that?"

Elegantly, Carmen shrugged, and dipped another morsel into the pot to cook.

For several minutes, the conversation ground to an awkward halt as the three women cooked and ate their meal in silence.

"So how about you just tell me what you actually want to talk about." Ivy finally demanded.

"What makes you think I want to talk?" Carmen asked.

"You picked a type of meal that's good for conversation and you're sitting at my table." Ivy said with little inflection. "You want to talk."

"Um... Carmen." Sara said awkwardly.

"What?" The master thief demanded.

"Remember how the therapist said I was supposed to tell you if I thought you were being passive aggressive?"

Ivy's jaw dropped.

The master thief exhaled in a caustic hiss. "Very well. Sara, let's talk."

"I meant to Ivy."

Carmen turned her head. "I see."

Ivy squared her shoulders at stared back at her former adversary. "Well?"

The master thief spoke slowly, her words icy, musical, and deliberate. "Have you learned anything more about this… threat…"

Ivy shivered.

"To your… life." The sentence finished on a tone that was both affectionate and guarded.

"Carmen, you know I can't tell you…" Ivy muttered awkwardly.

Carmen nodded. "I know."

There were several beats of silence.

Sara exclaimed. "Carmen you promised you'd…"

The master thief put up her hand, stopping the words in mid breath. She slowly breathed once, in and out. "I know, and that bothers me."

The dog barked.


	5. Chapter 5

Standard Disclaimer: I'm just a fanfiction author. All hail the rightful owners.

Author's Note: Sorry about the delay on this chapter. These last few weeks have been... well they're over now and that's what matters.

* * *

When Libby's sound broke the tension, all three women jumped. "Easy girl." Sara said, patting the dogs' head. The canine gave her owner a skeptical look, and then sat on Sara's feet.

Despite the excuse, Ivy felt too stubborn to let it go. "What bothers you?" She demanded.

Carmen took a sip of water, probably to buy time to consider her response. "I wonder, Ivy." She emphasized the name. "How you think I would feel if I," She winced, "Failed to protect you here."

Ivy shivered. "You… you'd feel bad I guess." She inferred sheepishly "But Carmen you're not even read in on this. It probably wouldn't be your fault."

Sara shifted uncomfortable and scratched Libby's ears.

"If violence happened to you." Carmen paused. "Feeling justified would be small comfort."

Ivy felt uncomfortably reminded of mountains in China and waterfalls in Africa. Yeah she knew that feeling.

"So my dilemma is this." Carmen said, suddenly all business. "If I knew what we were fighting, you would be safer. However any attempt to find out," She sighed, "Seems to imply I don't trust you."

Ivy winced, caught between empathy and the uncomfortable knowledge that Carmen was a master of manipulation. "I just can't tell you…" And she really seriously couldn't.

Carmen frowned. "I know you are competent." The next few words were labored as if difficult to get out. "But when dealing with murderers… competent people should work together."

This was a lot more difficult than she had planned. "Carmen I really can't…" Ivy got an idea. "_I_ can't. Carmen look I'm not telling you to go over my head because that's not allowed but…" she tried to look cunning, "If you just happened to… I wouldn't feel distrusted if you figure it out on your own."

The master thief sighed. "Well then, I will go do some work," She smirked. "That has absolutely nothing to do with your situation. Good night… Ivy."

* * *

"What are you practicing for, Thermopylae?" Ivy complained.

Carmen laughed over her shoulder, neatly dodging an attack. "Good morning, detective."

"There is no way this gets to count as morning when the sun isn't up." Ivy retorted. "And why are you sparring twenty on one?"

"This is just a satellite office." Mock offended, Carmen casually sent the next attacker flying in Ivy's direction. "I could only find twenty."

Ivy rotated her neck to try and get the cramp out. "How do you even get any of them to spar with you anymore?" She asked when the next two attackers also received martial arts movie style tosses.

"They get a thousand dollar bonus if they can restrain me for three seconds." Carmen announced.

"Uh huh... you don't pay out much do you?"

Carmen tossed her head and laughed uproariously, tempting another three henchmen to try an attack. In a moment, they were neatly stacked in a pile. Carmen looked around for another attacker, but the rest of the group had backed off. "Unfortunately they eventually catch on."

"Ok... so what now?" Ivy asked.

"I was hoping you'd join in." Carmen suggested looking strangely hopeful.

"Can we please do something that doesn't involve you kicking in my teeth?" Ivy asked in exasperation.

Carmen smirked. "We'll practice something more technical."

"You know I'd really rather not." Ivy complained, thinking to herself that Carmen seemed to be deliberately missing the point.

"Well in that case." Carmen retorted. "You may sit around and I will practice my fence jumping."

So Ivy sullenly sat on the gym floor, wishing she'd brought some work with her, and reminiscing about what great shape she used to be in. In the meantime, her tentative ally repeatedly took a running start, to jump, vault or climb rapidly over one of the barriers that she had waiting for her farther out in the lane. When she was younger, Ivy probably would have thought it was really interesting to see that Carmen was specifically working on training this. It would have explained why Carmen always seemed to widen her leads every time they had to pass some object.

However, this time she simply felt deeply jealous. Thinking about her training and how capable she used to feel about athletics made her feel an uncomfortable ache in her chest. Soon she found herself standing, making her way to the start of a lane, and sprinting at the waist high hurdle.

It didn't feel right. Ivy could remember a stride that felt comfortable, but this wasn't it. She lacked the range of movement that had come so easily to her once, making her steps too short, and before she had enough time to wonder about this, she crashed over the barrier to land face down on the ground.

With a cry of surprise, Carmen crossed over from her own lane and ran up to her downed guest. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah…" her pride was hurt worse than anything else, nosebleed notwithstanding, "Damn, I really thought I could do that."

"You took a mid sized barrier like a low one," Carmen explained absently, "They're different techniques. It's a common mistake."

Gingerly standing up, Ivy held onto the side of her face. "I think I'm going to have a black eye."

"You might," Carmen admitted, and then reminisced. "When I was preparing to leave Acme and practicing this on the sly, I was black and blue for weeks."

"I…" Suddenly Ivy's face lit up in recognition. "Oh!"

With a slight frown, Carmen asked. "What?"

"Well a lot of the reports of your defection mentioned that people saw those bruises and…" She noticed how guarded Carmen's expression had become. "I can't tell you how relieved I am." She finished lamely.

Even as Ivy made her way to her feet, Carmen continued to tower over her. "What did you think they were?" She asked, subtly icy.

"Well I hoped they were an accident but I didn't actually… well no one actually knew."

"In that case." Carmen's face was like murder. "This should bring you some peace of mind. As much as you'd love something to explain everything away, I was fine." She turned away, and started reassembling the damaged hurdle, snapping the pieces into place.

"Fine?" Ivy echoed incredulously. "Fine." Her cheeks heated and her temper flared. "You left a secret message with a suicide reference Carmen. You were not fine!"

Carmen's face, otherwise tight, abruptly switched to complete bafflement. "What on earth are you talking about?"

Even as the adrenaline of her annoyance continued to pulse, Ivy felt abruptly empty. "The books," Her voice wavered. "You left books on your desk with markers in them, remember?" Barely remembering herself, Ivy wracked her brain. "I thought they were clues. You had Ghandi's autobiography and…"

"Yes those…" Carmen shook her head. "From one of my more dramatic phases. Yes, they were clues, but there was no such reference anywhere."

Pushing, Ivy demanded. "The book of poems?"

Carmen returned a blank stare.

"Richard Cory."

With a look of faraway concentration, Carmen muttered. "Richard Cory, I didn't mark that one…" Then suddenly something clicked and if her expression was cold before, it was cryogenic now. "Well there were _two_ poems on that page."

Mortified, Ivy realized. "You meant the other one?"

Carmen nodded.

"What was it?"

"Poe's _Alone._" The master thief answered matter of fact.

"So your point here is" Ivy ground her teeth. "'Don't you dare worry about me, Ivy, I'm fine. What I meant to point out is an Edgar Allen Poe poem?' because that is just so much less disturbing."

"Did you read it, detective? Was that something it occurred to you to do?"

Carmen's expression reminded Ivy of the one her mother used to wear when she was not-mad-disappointed. "I.. no…"

The master thief walked away. "Of course not. As long as the poem described _your point of view_ accurately, why would you care?"


	6. Chapter 6

Standard Disclaimer: I'm just a fanfiction author. All hail the rightful owners.

* * *

"Damn her." Ivy was still muttering some time later absentmindedly kicking at the turf. "I was the only one who even wanted to look at those books. I actually had arguments over that Ghandi nonviolence quote, and I can't get one thing wrong."

"You ok kid?"

Ivy looked up. "Moe?" Wow, it had been a while.

"Yeah. You alright."

"I'm fine." Ivy sighed. "But your boss is still a pain in the ass."

"I…" Moe seemed to be having trouble explaining it. "I wouldn't worry. She always gets in a bad mood when she's practicing lately."

"Why would that put her in a bad mood? Carmen loves that stuff."

"She can't keep that stuff up forever, can she?" Moe asked.

Ivy snorted. "What are you talking about? She was sparring twenty on one."

"Well yes but… it used to be forty on one."

Ivy frowned. "Weird…" she muttered noncommittally.

Moe nodded encouragingly.

The agent shook her head. "But that's not it. The problem's that it's my fault. Well kind of. Not totally, but still."

"You could try apologizing." Moe suggested.

Ivy snorted.

"Oh?" Moe wondered dimly. "Is that too hard?"

"No." A voice behind her said.

The former detective jumped.

"It's too simple right?" Sara prompted.

"Ok if your boss taught all of you how to do that sneaking up thing, then that is just not fair!" Ivy exclaimed, angry again.

"You should probably just keep on being annoyed and go about your life." Sara added. "It's how Carmen usually works."

Ivy swallowed.

"And you know…" The mad scientist grinned in a rather disconcerting way. "You actually can't fix things until they're all the way broken." She rubbed her hands together.

The agent fidgeted. "I can't figure out how serious you're being." She finally commented.

Sara frowned.

Before her adversary could answer, Ivy gave herself a firm shake. "OK I'm taking sanity advice from Sara Bellum, so things are now officially out of control. I'm going to go watch TV. See ya." Then she got out of there as fast as she could.

Sara looked dejected. "What did I do?" She asked Moe, sadly. "I was just trying to cheer her up."

The portly man shrugged. "I have no idea."

The scientist winced. "I should probably tell my therapist about this." Then she rolled her eyes, and added in her heavily accented way. "With the way this week is going, I should write him a monograph."

* * *

The next few days passed slowly, in a bloated haze of boredom. Ivy saw Carmen only at meals, and even those interactions were increasingly cold. Moreover, the thief pointedly glowered when Ivy asked even the most mundane questions. Sensitive to the implied accusation of prying, the former detective settled into a routine of exploring as little as possible and simply pretending to work in her room. Pretending, unfortunately, was the operative word because Ivy didn't have anything she needed to be doing.

The whole operation was, if Ivy was brutally honest with herself, at least a little questionable. She knew it had to be bothering Carmen that she hadn't provided any details, and it irked her that the thief was interpreting it as a lack of trust, but the truth was she had none to provide.

A few weeks ago, her boss and her boss' boss had given her the assignment. Someone in her division, never mind who, was not to be trusted. They were probably in league with… that's classified. It was someone very scary, her boss had assured her, a great big murderous deal. As a result her division needed a good solid shakeup, preferable in the form of the apparent assassination of one of its members. It wasn't exactly clear how that would help, but , and they had all but patted her on the head at that point, it was beyond her security clearance. They didn't care how she did it though, as long as it was convincing and she didn't use government resources or tip off any of their colleagues.

In fact, for a top level operation, they were surprisingly laissez faire about the whole deal. They just wanted her to go to ground for two weeks, telling no one, with as much drama as possible. It was shockingly open ended, especially considering the way her division usually worked. This was by far the most interesting thing Ivy had been allowed to do since… well since she'd been at Acme. Her usual assignment was completely on rails, where as this one had practically begged for something stylish.

Ivy probably would have been a lot more dubious about the whole thing, except that she'd been bored to death at her job lately and needed to get out for a bit. Even if she was being thrown into a violent conflict with an unspecified big bad, at least it'd get her away from the paperwork. By a week in, Ivy was wondering how she had ever thought this would be less boring than her day to day life. She was retroactively blaming nostalgia for most of that bad choice because at least at home she had cable.

However, on the day before she was supposed to return to her own reality, Ivy noticed that Carmen hadn't shown up for dinner. As she sat idly wondering if the master thief had gone on a heist or something, Carmen strode into the room, in an obvious state of nervous agitation.

Ivy initially didn't react to Carmen's changeable mood. Sara, on the other hand, looked up with wide eyes, and immediately fell silent, abandoning her explanation of superposition of states, or whatever it was. "Carmen?" The scientist asked uncertainly.

Carmen slightly shook her head. "I'm sorry Sara. I didn't mean to startle you." She said considerately but with the air of a practiced response. "Get your coat." She ordered Ivy bluntly, not showing any interest in the meal. "I'm going up to the main office tonight and you might as well go with me."

Sara looked down and Ivy noticed the other woman's hands shaking, but she didn't have time to ask for opinions because she was too busy dashing after Carmen.

"Main office?" She called at the retreating back.

"Yes." Carmen answered. "And you'll want that coat. It's in Russia."


	7. Chapter 7

Summary: Six years after the main series, Ivy asks Carmen for a favor.

Disclaimer: I'm just a fanfiction author. All hail the rightful owners.

* * *

"Carmen?" Ivy asked, as she climbed to the doorway in the bitter cold. "Am I in danger?"

The master thief glanced over her shoulder with withering sharpness. "No more so than usual."

"Ok…" Ivy had the strong but nonspecific sense that she was being accused of something. "Then, why am I here?"

"Why not?" Carmen said, her voice giving off barely controlled laughter. "Do I have any reason not to bring you? You're my houseguest. You mean me no harm. Isn't that right?" Her blue eyes bore down like a diamond drill.

"Of course I mean you no harm!" Ivy defended sharply. She wet her lips. "Any more." She added belatedly.

"Well then." Carmen smirked. "Why not?"

The door opened with a hydraulic hiss, rather anticlimactically. Ivy stepped in, expecting chaos, grandeur, and magnitude. Instead, she heard only a quiet humming.

If the satellite office had been organized chaos, filled with henchmen always coming and going, the main office was its polar opposite. There were only a few rooms, and those were completely sterile and void of personality, except for the heat coming off of several computers and other Zack-y things. There were no henchmen.

Without any acknowledgement, Carmen stepped across the tiled floor, giving off small clips of sound from her heels.

This? This was VILE's epicenter? This dingy, dusty… closet?

"Why is this the main one?" Ivy asked, before she could help herself.

Carmen's face tensed and she let out a slow breath. "VILE is designed to function if one or several of the satellite offices is taken out. This is the one I'd be in trouble if I lost." The thief gave Ivy a pointed look."For example, my servers and records are, for the most part, here. There are backups of course, but…."

Ivy frowned. "No wonder there's no one here."

The master thief nodded. "I keep it quiet. But sometimes an artist needs an audience. For example…" She hit a button and the largest wall lit up as a makeshift screen.

Ivy's breath caught and she covered her mouth. Here was the mostly intense schematic she had ever seen. All of VILE's employees, operations and connections, in one elegant place. She could see every complication and detail, and yet the big trends still stood out in clarity. It was magnificent. In all her career, all of the administration and the action, there was nothing, bar none, that even came close to this.

"What do you think this needs?" Carmen asked, vaguely gesturing.

"Nothing…" Ivy almost whispered. "It's perfect."

Carmen nodded slowly. "But not invincible."

Though she appreciated the nuance, Ivy retorted. "Pretty close."

Shrugging, the master thief challenged. "You could find a weakness in this."

Ivy laughed nervously. "Yeah but why would I want to? I mean this is gorgeous."

"You tell me." Carmen answered cryptically.

She didn't like that tactic any more now than she had six years ago. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Why are you here, detective?"

"I'm not a detective."

Carmen persisted. "Why are you here?"

"To hide from this person my division is up against." Ivy answered

"And it doesn't bother you that you don't even know who it is?" Carmen demanded.

So Carmen knew. Of course Carmen knew. Carmen always knew didn't she? "Ok yes." Ivy snapped. "I've been worried about it all along, but I want to be able to trust the people I work with."

Carmen made a dry raspy sound.

"What?"

"You." Carmen pronounced. "Acme's best. Everyone's best," She amended. "The FBI are fools not to see it."

Ivy's throat clenched. There was another secret not even safe for the effort of keeping it.

"You, the leader of the only team to give me more than trouble. You the most capable person I know." Carmen's voice carried the full weight of her breath. "You want to be able to _trust_ people?" The word came out high. "Ivy, what were you _thinking?" _

"Thinking?" Ivy snapped defensively. "I was thinking I was doing my job. So what if they didn't tell me everything. It was still important. My boss doesn't even waste paperclips. You can bet he wouldn't have wasted all this time and effort for nothing." Sullenly, childishly, she added. "You know what? Even if this isn't what they claimed, I don't want to know."

The master thief brushed some stray dust from the wall with the schematic.

"You know whether they're lying, don't you?" Ivy asked, and before Carmen could answer demanded. "Ok, tell me."

Carmen's voice was quiet, holding peace but no joy. "There is no other villain, Ivy. You know that."

Her vision blurred, as her mouth tightened painfully and blood rushed to the back of her neck. "Damn them." She said softly.

"You've known that…" Carmen added sadly, "Almost this whole time, but you didn't want to believe it. You are… very good at hiding things from yourself when you want to."

"I… you're right." Ivy admitted, fighting the urge to cry. "I trusted them."

Abruptly, the tone shifted, became hesitant. "Maybe they weren't trying to betray your trust." The deep voice sounded all the less loud by contrast.

"What do you mean?"

Carmen stopped before each word, as though she couldn't decide whether to say them. "Your bosses know you well, yes?"

"I…" Ivy raised her hands. "Well enough."

"So they knew you would come to me."

Oh no.

"Maybe they think I'm about to be captured. Maybe they think… you…" Carmen took a deep breath. "Are the one who could see it happen without… anyone… being hurt. Maybe they think that's what you'll want."

"Well that is not what I want." Ivy snapped. Then as this out of context notion that she was somehow supposed to be talking Carmen down hit her system, the temperature of her blood plummeted. "Are you giving up?"

"No." Carmen answered steady and absolutely sure. "That didn't work six years ago and it will not now."

"Then why are you goading me to do it?"

Carmen stared at one of the entries on the schematic, her eyes going straight through the wall. "You never brought all of your talent and resources against me." Her chin set mercilessly. "And that should have happened."

Ivy swallowed.

Distantly, the master thief added. "You left before I found out if you could defeat me."

Confusion, anger, and something like sadness made Ivy's stomach turn. "It was my right to leave."

"Yes but why did you?" Carmen snapped with sudden intensity.

Ivy threw her hands out in mirrored frustration. "I didn't want to be stuck in a dead end job."

"You had a chance!" Carmen exclaimed.

"I didn't want to succeed!" Ivy shouted. "Dammit Carmen, I didn't want to catch you!"

Carmen's face dropped in astonishment. "Oh…" She sat down on one of the file cabinets. "Oh I see…" Abruptly breathy and numb, her voice didn't sound like what Ivy remembered anymore.

"No you don't." Ivy's annoyance was still talking. "You're humoring me."

"I…" Carmen acknowledged. "Would have wanted to catch me."

"And I did, for a really long time." Ivy said. "You have no idea how bad. But then at some point I guess I made the connection that if I ever actually succeeded in any kind of permanent way, you'd be in prison, maybe for the rest of your life." She tried to steady out her respiration and avoid getting angry. "And you're right, you know. I wanted to believe you were a victim because then it all made sense in my head. Or I wanted to believe there was something wrong with you. Because then I could blame that for messing you up, and it wouldn't be my fault."

Carmen slightly ground her teeth.

"But you know what? No matter how much I tried to figure you out, I couldn't get around it. I wanted a job where I felt like I was working towards something that I could stand to think about. You know, sometimes," She added, the speed of her words running away with her, "I even wanted a job that would do the world some actual good. And so I quit. Sue me. And I'm sorry I did it so suddenly, but I thought you would try to trick me out of it."

"I didn't know if you wanted me to go after you." The master thief said defensively, glaring at the ground. "I wanted to respect that."

"Then, now you know how I felt." Ivy said. "But if being a master thief is what you need to be ok in your own mind." She shifted her weight. "Then it doesn't matter why that is, or if I can ever hope to understand it. I'm just really glad you're alright."

No muscles in Carmen's face moved.

"And I don't want to judge you for it anymore. That's why I left." Finally, her voice trailed off. "Carmen, please say something."

Carmen head turned into profile, and Ivy could see lines on her eyes. "You have to judge me." She whispered, in a voice of haggard gravel. "I… can't grasp anything else."

"It took a while for me to really get it," Ivy continued, still half on a rant. "But you don't belong in prison. You want to tell me Sara would have been better off if you'd been captured and hadn't been able to get to her? Hell, you want to tell me someone like Moe or Lars would have been better off working for a crime boss that had no standards? You locked up. That would be the waste."

There was no answer.

"Oh my goodness… are you crying?"

"Of course not."

"Ok…" Ivy reached out her arm in a comforting gesture.

Carmen recoiled, pushing Ivy's hand away with something visceral, something that felt like self-defense.

"You are freaking out right now, aren't you?"

There was a lengthy pause, and then Carmen nodded.

"Ok…" Ivy said carefully. "I'm going to go sit in the other room. You can find me… if you decide you want to. But I'm not going to try to catch you ok? Not _ever_ again."


	8. Chapter 8

Summary: Six years after the main series, Ivy asks Carmen for a favor.

Disclaimer: I'm just a fanfiction author. All hail the rightful owners.

* * *

Ivy's stomach twisted painfully as she turned her back to the doorway and settled down on an old but clean couch, which she suspected had been kept around for the possibility of a quick nap. She was stressed, upset at herself, and even a little frightened. At first, she tried to sit and think things out, but after a while her emotional tension exhausted her and she fell asleep sleeping up.

"Ivy." She heard the word softly, as though the speaker was half hoping that she wouldn't be heard.

The former detective opened her eyes. "Hi." She said meekly to the figure towering over her.

"I'm not sure where to begin." The master thief said blandly. Her eyes were red.

Ivy didn't know how to respond, but made a gesture towards the sofa, indicating that the thief should join her. "Um. That's ok."

"I'm not very good at talking about feelings. That's probably because I prefer not to have them. They are messy and inelegant." Carmen closed her eyes.

"Are you ok?"

Carmen sat down slowly, arms crossed as though against the cold. "I want to be on a heist right now." She admitted. "I almost _need_ to be on a heist right now. I will probably run to one the first moment I can, but I think…" She inhaled raggedly, "This is not the time."

"If you need to go on a caper," Ivy said awkwardly, "Or whatever. Then that's ok. I'll just hang out here."

The master thief slowly shook her head. "I think if I leave, I won't come back."

Ivy wet her lips. "Carmen if… if six years ago I had tried to offer you some kind of help…" She stumbled over the words, "That didn't involve me trying to convert you to my side of the law but also didn't involve me becoming a criminal…" she trailed off and had to force herself to begin again. "Would you have wanted it?"

Carmen considered it. "Yes." She admitted. "But I don't think I would have been able to accept it. In fact, I might have attacked you for trying. "

Ivy nodded.

"This revelation of yours," Carmen asked tentatively, "What brought it on?"

For a few moments, she thought about it. "Probably the Avalon thing."

Frowning the master thief half-demanded. "How?"

"Huh?" Ivy was confused. "What do you mean?"

The master thief rolled her eyes. "I can't have come out of that mess looking good."

"Well at first I was really angry." Ivy frowned. "You'd give up all of the crime, everything, for some person who might be related to you, but you wouldn't give my help the time of day. I didn't know what I was doing wrong."

Carmen flinched.

"But there was something really wrong about it, and it wasn't just that I thought it should have been me." The memory made her uncomfortable.

Carmen glowered.

"Or at least that's how it looked." Ivy modified. "And when I saw how it hurt you with Avalon, well it really seriously scared me that I'd basically been trying to get you to do the same thing."

Carmen nodded. "I don't know what I was thinking." She muttered aridly.

"So yeah, the leaving suddenly thing probably wasn't the best thing but… I got upset…"

Red lips pressed together.

"And so I just got out of there." Ivy shifted her weight uncomfortable. "And I figured it out later."

"I see."

Ivy stared at the red and blue pattern on the sofa. "I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize." Carmen said, in a tone that made Ivy wonder if she was reciting some sort of personal rule.

"I want to though."

"Well then." A slight smile showed. "That's allowed."

Ivy laughed quietly, but she felt like crying.

"You were missed." Carmen added.

"How'd my replacement do?" Ivy didn't want to ask, but she made herself do it anyway.

With an unpleasant chuckle, Carmen shook her head and crossed her arms. "Incompetent."

"Oh?"

The master thief nodded with weight. "I'm so..." She paused significantly. "So bored."

Ivy shivered. For Carmen, that was probably the most dangerous emotion. It certainly had been in the past.

Carmen laughed, a little bitterly. "The detectives on my case now do not have a chance of catching me, Ivy. Yet I'm getting worse at this every year."

It made sense. Carmen had always needed the chase. If that had gone stale…"No one's pushing you."

"I'm in no danger anymore. I'm just fading into mediocrity. I hate that." The master thief wondered aloud. "Why am I telling you this?"

"Almost like we're friends." Ivy retorted lightly.

"I don't have friends." Carmen objected.

Under her breath, Ivy suggested. "You probably shouldn't tell that to Sara."

Carmen raised her eyebrows.

"Remember you left me alone with her for a week?" Ivy pointed out. She shook her head. "She's really changed. And anyway she thinks she's your friend. Apparently forgiving someone for trying to take over the world and helping her get her life together puts you a step above acquaintance. Even if you actually did it because of a dog." She shrugged. "Actually in this case especially because you did it for the dog."

Laughing hollowly, the master thief deflected. "I will have to remember that."

Ivy raised her eyebrows.

"I may…" Carmen admitted. "Have caused my relationship with Sara to become adversarial."

"So it wouldn't have to be healthy?"

The master thief frowned. "Something like that." Her voice became more clipped, pragmatic. "I was only protecting myself, detective. I didn't mean any harm by it."

Ivy sighed. "If it makes you feel any better I don't like my job either. I'm probably going to quit, but I haven't decided what I'm going to do."

"Oh?"

It was amazing how even just that simple prompt seemed to bring Carmen back into her mysterious competent persona. Ivy swallowed, feeling both relief that the emotion had been dialed back and nerves that the footing once again had become uneven. "I hate being a cog in the machinery." She admitted dryly. "It turns out I'm not passionate about law enforcement at all. And that stinks because I was so sure I would be."

Carmen nodded. "That does sound familiar. I will be fascinated to see what you choose."

"Thanks. Just uh… don't hold out for it to be anything brilliant ok?"

Absently, as though her hands had a life of their own, Carmen gathered some paper from a nearby ream and started attaching it to a clipboard. "Do you need any help?" She asked.

Though she couldn't help but feeling as though she were giving some sort of rejection, Ivy shook her head. "I think I have to deal with this on my own." Then she got an idea. "Actually… um. When my boss tries to discredit me… which he will that's how he is. It would be nice if it…" she smiled, "Just happened to not work."

Carmen smirked.

"I'm not asking you to ruin his life or anything just he's kind of got the whole institutional structure thing on his side and maybe you could… even the playing field a little."

The master thief grinned.

"Ok, now you look a little too excited."

Laughing mildly, Carmen reassured, "I will show restraint. I promise."

"Ok, 'cause I'm just trying to resign without getting blacklisted so I can do something else. Not cause an international incident."

"Understood." Carmen smirked.

Ivy smiled, took a deep breath and then blurted out. "Ok, so that's a start for my stuff. Now we can have a look at yours."

Carmen slid back. "What?"

"You're having job issues too…" Ivy's stomach knotted. "We worked on mine. Turnaround's fair."

Simultaneously, the master thief looked worried and intrigued. "Do you have an idea?"


	9. Chapter 9

Summary: Six years after the main series, Ivy asks Carmen for a favor.

Disclaimer: I'm just a fanfiction author. All hail the rightful owners.

Author's Note: Sorry about the pause in updates for this story. Real life took over for a little while.

* * *

The former detective looked at the arm of the couch. "I'm not sure." She admitted. "I don't know if I've really got a grasp on it."

Carmen's eyes were narrow, dark. She tilted her shoulders away, retracting a small distance.

"What have you got so far?" Ivy requested, more casually.

With one hand, Carmen held the clipboard with the papers. The other hand rested on the arm of the couch. "I believe Acme realized you were their best chance, and they've cut their losses. No new detective since Zack has been competent."

Ivy nodded.

"I've been trying to raise the stakes, but nothing seems to be motivating them." The master thief sighed, her mouth twisting into a wry curve.

"Yeah I've seen some of your recent heists." Ivy pointed out. "They were…" She managed to suppress most of the wince "dramatic." Since leaving Acme, Ivy had tried to avoid following Carmen's career, but you couldn't completely ignore someone so famous.

"Flashy." Carmen clarified contemptuously. "But not well put together."

"Ok." Ivy said uncomfortably. During her detective days, she'd been meticulous, not talking about the parts of the heists that made her uncomfortable, except to recite beliefs she wanted to reinforce. Now here she was, not just discussing the heists with Carmen, but talking about their quality.

"I'm at the point," Carmen admitted. "Where I either need to accept the lack of pursuit or do something to demand their action. They will ignore me, unless I am impossible to ignore."

"But you can't do anything violent." Ivy specified thoughtlessly.

Carmen turned her head sharply.

Ivy shivered. "Sorry." She said softly. "I mean you _won't_ do anything violent."

The master thief frowned. "To get a reaction that way, I would have to do something really atrocious and," She shook her head, "That's just so wasteful."

"Is that why you don't like violence?" Ivy asked, feeling suddenly curious, "Because it's wasteful?"

The tilt of the shoulders markedly increased, and the master thief did not reply.

"I'm not objecting…" Ivy hastened to clarify, worried that she might have lapsed back into judging, "I'm just kind of interested."

"I have philosophical explanations too." The master thief conceded. "But on a visceral level, that's the reason."

Ivy tried to smile encouragingly.

The master thief elaborated. "I think I have unusual ideas of what is irreplaceable."

Slowly, Ivy nodded. It made sense to her. Carmen's actions had always been full of excess, but it was a specific kind.

The master thief exhaled slowly, pressing her nails against the side of the couch and then added abruptly. "You've always asked me this, all of you. Sometimes I wonder if everyone else has this innate sense of morality and I'm just… just missing it somehow, trying to improvise one as I go. If I ever, for a moment, believed you when you thought there was something wrong with me… that was why."

"Carmen, I…" Ivy began, but Carmen shook her head, and the former detective trailed off.

"All I know is that if I destroy an object, I can find a way to fix it. In time, I can replace anything." Her words slowed down. "But hurting people, damaging people… I've done that. I've been fine with hurting even ones who cared about me. I've _chosen_ it. But once that trauma's there, I can't take it away again."

The former detective wanted to look away, but couldn't.

"It's never fun. That's all." The muscles in Carmen's throat stood out. "And that is as truthful as I have been about this in twenty years."

"Ok." Ivy said.

Carmen glowered and tapped the clipboard against her knee.

"Seriously," nervous giggles tried to break the tension, "It's ok." She smiled. "Good answer."

Half laughing half sighing, Carmen exhaled all at once and her shoulders slumped. When she looked back up, the mischief was back in her eyes. "I gave you a long answer to a simple query. You are right. I _won't_ do anything violent."

"I see." Ivy prompted.

Carmen slapped her hand against the cushion. "So? Do you have an idea?"

"Not so much an idea." Ivy ventured. "But I do have a couple of questions."

"And they are?" Carmen parried.

"The first is what emotion are you trying to evoke? Is it fear, hatred, or curiosity?" Ivy took a breath. "The second is do you want your heists to be more difficult? Or is it that you want them to be worth the difficulty?"

"Those are interesting questions." Carmen said slowly. She sighed. "They presuppose my answers."

"Oh." Ivy frowned. "Sorry."

"For example, what emotion do I want to evoke… I think you want me to answer curiosity. That's true."

"But?"

The master thief adjusted the clipboard in her lap "I also want to be feared, a little."

Ivy bit her lip. "Do you want the people who fear you to be the same people who wonder about you?"

"I..." Carmen blinked and leaned on the board. "Not necessarily." She paused. "But the curiosity answer has its own problems. Old habits die hard."

"What do you mean?

Laughing dourly the master thief said, "For all the trouble I've given you about Acme's worldview, I've never completely shaken them myself."

With a shake of her head, Ivy declared. "I don't think you're anything like Acme. I mean like the stuff that's wrong with Acme…"

Carmen turned her head away, facing down so that her hair blocked her features. When she spoke, her voice was raspy. "I shouldn't try to make people in my image. They have a right to decide who they are."

Ivy shivered.

"It's tempting." Carmen said softly. "It's easy to justify. It's still wrong." She took a deep breath. "You say you learned what you had done wrong when you saw what happened with Avalon. Well, I should have understood what I was doing after what happened with Lee Jordon. I didn't. I doubled down, pushed until the system broke."

Ivy waited.

Carmen's eyes were shut, "I didn't even understand just how bad it was until you left Acme. It was when I realized I shouldn't go after you…"

Abruptly, Ivy realized how far forward she was sitting and backed up to give Carmen some space.

"Ivy if you need to get away from me," Carmen swallowed, "If that is the best choice, then that is what you should do."

"Carmen, you're a big personality."

The master thief nodded. "I know."

"But I don't feel manipulated by you. Well at least," she cracked a smile. "Not at the moment."

"That is a feat."

"Carmen, the way you're talking, it's like you think you can't help it. Like you think you're just… stuck that way or something."

The master thief frowned. "There was a time, early in my career, when I entertained the notion that I might be… just a little sociopathic." Mouth twisting wryly, she amended, "Of course, I eventually realized that wanting very badly not to feel guilt is not the same thing as being unable to feel it."

Ivy nodded.

"However, even with my," Carmen rolled her eyes, "Comparatively normal psychology, I am still a difficult person to be around, for anyone, but especially for you."

"Yeah well," Ivy declared, "That's a risk I'm good with taking. And before you go doing something all noble, remember that I get to choose what risks I take now."

Carmen arched her eyebrows and parried, "I do _not _do _noble_ things."

Ivy smiled. "Of course not." She teased

"It's just..." Carmen hesitated. "I thought you should know why I let you leave without a fight. It wasn't apathy."

Ivy nodded, waited for a moment and then said. "How are you doing?"

"You mean now?"

"Yeah… I mean I get the feeling this is more talking than you're used to."

The expression on Carmen's face was a little priceless.

"Or at least, we've gone a while without having to use literature references and … how's that working for you?"

Carmen paused to consider. "I feel… relieved, I think, and a little worried."

"What are you worried about?"

"Your mission is over, Ivy."

The former agent swallowed. "You're thinking that I have to go home."

Nodding the master thief muttered something under her breath that Ivy couldn't make out.

Ivy looked down "You know Carmen, I've been thinking. You talk to the player entirely over IM don't you?"

Carmen blinked. "Yes. What's your point?"

"If you've been doing that so long, you must be pretty comfortable with that by now." Ivy wet her lips. Maybe if she couldn't stay on Carmen's turf literally, maybe she could pull it off this way.

After pausing for a moment, the master thief slowly nodded. "Yes," she acknowledged. "I suppose I am."

Ivy smiled encouragingly.

Abruptly Carmen stood up, "Do you know what I think we should do now, Ivy?"

"What?"

"Find some Rassolnik."

"Seriously, Rassolnik? That's what you're craving?"

"What I'm craving is a good curry, but I don't feel like a plane flight right now. Besides, I'm going to want something to go with the vodka."

"Alright then. I want pierogi."

"Deal."

* * *

"Easy Libby," Sara whispered.

The dog looked up at her owner, then gave an unconcerned yip and sat back on her haunches.

Two women walked through the door of the ancillary base. The scientist took a deep bracing breath. "Hi, Carmen," she said "Hi, Ivy."

Carmen looked over. "Hello, Sara." She said and smiled.

"How's it going?" Ivy added.

"Err… ok." Sara swallowed and got down on the floor to hug her dog. "So…" She gulped. "What happened?"

The master thief shrugged. "I'm not sure what you mean by that." She said airily.

"Well…" Sara flushed. "In that case… what happens now?"

"Well I'm going to go home and look at my job options," Ivy said cheerfully, "And Carmen is going to be doing a lot of hacking in the near future."

Sara swallowed. "Is that it?"

Mischievously smiling, Carmen clarified "It's a little simplified." She blinked, "And more difficult than it sounds. Thank goodness, things were getting a little dull around here."

"But we've got it under control." Ivy added.

The scientist looked down at Libby, and then back at her boss. "But… she's an FBI agent. You're a crime boss. She tried to capture you. You eluded her. You've had a showdown coming for decades!"

"So? We've decided that's not the point."

"But I…" Sara's mouth worked. "Everyone's… ok with this?"

Carmen looked over at her former rival.

"Yeah." Ivy answered, with a deep hearty smile. "We're fine."

THE END


End file.
